Our founder and lead expert, Educational and Child Psychologist, Dr Tamasine Black, recently featured on ITV News, for Safer Internet Day, where she provided guidance on what signs to look out for, and useful strategies to create a safe space in order to foster open communication.
Based on the information she provided to viewers, Tamasine has created the below guide to help parents and caregivers navigate the complex online world with their young people.
How safe is your child online?
Sextortion is now one of the main ways that young people are being scammed. It is a form of online blackmail where criminals threaten to share sexual pictures, videos, or information about you, in particular to friends and family members.
Recent research from The Internet Watch Foundation (IWF), shows that there has been a significant rise in sextortion cases involving young people over the last couple of years, with a 19% increase in the first 6 months of 2024, compared to the same period in 2023. Criminal networks, often operating internationally, have increasingly targeted children as young as 11 years old.
Typically children and young adults who are active on social media, messaging apps, or online gaming platforms, are the primary targets. Males are also more likely to be targeted, especially between the ages of between 14 and 18 years old, however all ages and genders are at risk.
Signs That a Child Might Be Experiencing Sextortion
Children and young people often feel ashamed, scared, or guilty when experiencing sextortion, making it difficult for them to reach out for help.
Parents and caregivers can look out for these warning signs:
- Changes in mood and behaviour – the child may appear withdrawn, anxious, fearful, or suddenly depressed without explanation.
- Increased secrecy about online activity – they might start hiding their screens, deleting conversations, or using their devices more frequently at odd hours.
- Sudden financial requests – if they ask for money without explanation, it may be because the perpetrator is demanding payment to prevent content from being shared.
- Avoidance of social interactions – a previously social child may start avoiding friends, family, or activities they once enjoyed.
- Self-harm or expressions of hopelessness – in extreme cases, the emotional distress of sextortion can lead to self-harming behaviours or discussions about feeling trapped.
- Fear of notifications or online activity – they may become overly anxious when receiving messages or notifications, suggesting that they’re anticipating further threats.
Recognising these signs early, and addressing them with sensitivity, is crucial to preventing further harm.
Creating an Open, Trusting Dialogue About Online Safety
Parents play a vital role in ensuring their children feel safe discussing online dangers without fear of blame. Here’s how to foster open communication:
Start early and normalise conversations
Introduce online safety discussions as soon as children begin using the internet, making it an ongoing conversation rather than a one-time warning.
Frame discussions as a way to empower them rather than control them.
Use open-ended questions
Instead of interrogating, ask questions that encourage discussion, like:
“What would you do if someone online made you uncomfortable?”
“Have you ever seen something online that worried you?”
Validate their feelings and listen actively without immediate judgment.
Avoid blame or punishment
If a child confesses to making a mistake (such as sharing an inappropriate image), reassure them that they are not at fault and they can come to you for help.
Avoid threats like taking away their devices, as this can discourage them from reporting issues in the future.
Teach critical thinking and digital literacy
Discuss red flags of online grooming and sextortion, such as:
- Strangers pushing for secrecy
- Requests for private images
- Threats or emotional manipulation
- Encourage them to question unusual online interactions and trust their instincts
Offer a “no judgment” policy
Ensure that they know they can come to you without fear of punishment if something happens online.
Reassure them that you will work together to fix any problems rather than reacting with anger.
Provide resources and alternative supports
If they find it difficult to talk to you, suggest other trusted adults (e.g., a school counselor, teacher, or family friend).
Share helplines and online safety organisations, like:
- CEOP (Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre)
- Thinkuknow.co.uk (UK-based online safety education)
- Internet Watch Foundation (to report and remove explicit content)
By maintaining an open, supportive, and non-judgmental approach, parents can encourage children to speak up before a situation escalates, reducing the risk and impact of sextortion.
